Thursday, July 1, 2010

being sick...and my goals



I don't know where I've heard this, I'm sure some of you will know, some movie or sometihing..."What a week I'm having!!!!" I have had the worst flu I've had in years, three days of not even being able to get up out of bed, twice to the doctor and today I had to get a antibiotic shot! I hate shots!!! This was supposed to be my last week at work before I take some time off for the summer, didn't make it in one day! Not that I'm upset so much about that but I'll miss my measly last paycheck! No art, no inspiration, no anything, I haven't even been able to catch up on "flying lessons", and it's almost over! I meant to do so much, find new inspiration,new inspiring friends and classmates through flying lessons but work and being sick has gotten in the way! I am feeling better after that horrible shot though, I must admit. I really "twinged" when the doctor told me I was getting a shot but now that I am feeling better only 8 hours after the shot i must say, I'd welcome it if I ever were to get this sick again which I won't,(but just in case)!
And today was supposed to be my last day at work, (don't know what I am going to do now, because i really need a job), but I couldn't take the heat anymore, not for the lousy pay anyway. I was going to spend the week looking for a job and optimistically and magically believed I would have one before the end of the week! LOL! But now I am kind of scared a little, I must find something soon!!
I have been combing a little through the rest of the content of flying lessons and find it overwhelming, fascinating, and great but I am also doubting so much... I am kind of afraid to say out loud (or int this case write it out)I am usually a very positive person, but as I've mentioned before lately and maybe since "Flying Lessons" when I should be feeling more optimistic then ever, because of the content of the course, I am feeling doubtful...is the market is too saturated with my type of art for me to succeed? There is so much out there and sooo amazing. Is there enough room out there for me?... can I really put myself out there?, what if I fail?, where will i go from there if i do fail?, will it feel like a job if i do succeed? and worse, for me, because I hate being in the limelight, what if I get attention!
Sometimes we really do sabotage ourselves, don't we? I know for a fact that many of us, not just me, think this way.. self sabotage...
I'm not going to allow these thoughts to bring me down, I am going to go one step at a time and not think about what could or could not happen, all I really want is to sell some art, make a living and if I can do that then I will be happy. Kelly Rae asked us to set some goals, I kept going around and around with it and never could come up with specific goals because all I truly want is to sell some art, to make someone smile with it. To know that somewhere in the world I created something that makes someone happy, is that a poor goal? That doesn't scare me, it doesn't stress me out, it allows me to just create art. I'm not good at twittering or social networking, I have to accept that. but one thing is for sure, I just have to be me. and me is simple, no stress, no self sabotage, no doubts. So I've come up with my goals: ( Because Kelly says it good to write them out) here goes:

1) Make art
2) sell art
3) be happy

ahhh...I feel so much better in both physical and emotional ways! have a great rest of the week!

On there's a painting I created a few weeks ago....No title yet... any suggestions?

19 comments:

Isabel said...

Well Im glad you are feeling better!!:O) Hate shots too and the flu this time of yr sucks(any time right)Its funny that everytime you post i have been thinking the same:O) We all have self doubts and I def have been having them of late..I agree on the part of self sabatoge.. I am very private and having a Blog is really putting me out there, but i know that i want to pursue my art so i do it. Great goals that you have and as always i adore your art, Thanx for making me think and feel better soon~ Isabel

carol gourley said...

Hello Patti,
read your comment on the wrap up and what you said was exactly how I feel, so thought I'd go check out your blog.
Wow, your art is amazing. I can't even imagine someone that is as artistic as you having any doubts.
You have such a unique style eventhough you have many different looks and I love it all. Whimsicle art is one of my favourites. The Mermaid you did for the salsa company is incredible. They must have loved it.
Your goals are perfect, I haven't set any for myself since the class started, mostly for the same reasons as you, but now that I have seen yours I hope you don't mind if I use them......
lookibaing forward to seeing more of your art....
carol

Sleepandhersisters said...

How horrid having the flu at that time... I am glad you are feeling better though. I don't mind shots.

NatashaMay said...

Sorry to hear about your week. Your goals are short and sweet. :) Have fun!

NatashaMay said...

Sorry to hear about your week. Your goals are short and sweet. :) Have fun!

Diane said...

Your goals are perfect, because they're yours, and if you believe in what you want and in yourself, then you can make them happen.
I sure hope you feel better--the flu--yuck!!

nacherluver said...

Wow! Bummer of a week. Sorry to hear you have been so sick. That's rough.

I think a title that might work would be "new life" since you're getting a new lease on life after a long illness and the girl in the painting is holding in her hand a bundle of new life!

adorable painting :)

Rebecca Anthony said...

Glad you're feeling better, good luck job hunting! The painting with this post makes me smile, your faces are so sweet!

simplydelicious said...

Your art is beautiful!! If you believe in your art...there is a market for it! I firmly believe that you need to put your wishes out into the world and you will et your wishes back....the first step is naming your goals!!Do you want to sell your art on Etsy...say it outloud. Do you want to make $1,000 per month..twice that?? Say it outloud! It always works for me! Your art is good....People will buy it...no one can make the kind of art you make!! Believe in yourself!! (and feel better)
~Karen

patty said...

Hi Patti (with an "i"), I'm so glad you visited and that I visited back to see what is going on with you. Thank you for your sweet comment! A lot of what you've written sounds somewhat familiar because so many of us are struggling with these same issues! That's why it's so important to be surrounded by a supportive community and it looks like you have that here. I agree with what everyone is saying - your work is beautiful and I'm so glad you have clarified some things here and written out goals. Hope you are feeling better today!!

XOX
Patty (with a "y"!)

pinkglitterfae said...

those darn flu's pop up at the most inconvenient time! I'm sure it is frustrating to be sick during a class, during your last day at work, and feel far behind...but you really do have all the tools you need to accomplish your dreams, you don't need lessons, or someone else moving you along. I am a huge fan of classes, and will continue taking them because of the wonderful things I learn, and the other artists I connect with, but I know that deep down, I could be successful if I ever made the decision too. That's the tough part, getting rid of the garbage voices in your head, and other things that keep us down.
Trust me, talent wise, you don't need to worry, your art is brilliant! and I've always said if I ever get a windfall, I will be shopping in your Etsy store, lol!
There may be lots of people doing cute girl art (and I can recognize which teacher they learned from) but yours is unique, and recognizable as your 'style'.
I say keep going forward :-)
xoxo
betty

claire barone art said...

your goals are the right ones follow them ... you are talented enough some people have half your talent and seem to live the dream !hope you feel better soon xx

Msartist said...

Hi Patty, So sorry to hear that you have been sick. I think it is easy to feel that way about art when you start looking at everyone's work that is amazing. I hope by getting it off your chest you feel better because you have a wonderful style and create lovely art. I have always been a big fan! I have been taking the class too and know how you feel. Stay positive! Have faith all will fall into place~ ((hugs)) Theresa

Kerri said...

sorry you've been illin!

i like your painting- have u named it yet?

PBsArtStudio said...

Thank you all for your great comments and well wishes... I am felling so much better! And no I haven't named this painting yet:( Patti

Lille Diane said...

Sweet Patti, You are being comfortably YOU by sharing your soft under belly. I love it when people are transparent. We all feel inadequate at times, especially when we are sick or too tired.

Your goals are precise & perfect. "Infinite Possibilities" by Mike Dooley is super cool book. It is an easy read & full of help with tips for goals. It will compliment Kelly Rae's flying classes really well.

I'm sorry the flu bit you, Patti. You hoped to have the week to seek a better job but you got sick. Sometimes what looks as a missed opportunity may really be a bigger blessing waiting to happen. I cannot help but believe you may have settled for less than you deserved because of the one week deadline... What if getting sick delayed you so you could be in the right place... at EXACTLY the right time... to find the job that fits you better, pays better & takes you to the next level.

Thank you for being so honest & sharing your heart. I'm so happy to meet you, Patti~

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Sorry about the flu...ick! But at least its leaving and you're feeling better :)
Your art is so very precious! Love it!

s. said...

i am so glad someone thinks like i do!!! oh i totally self-sabotage with those thoughts that i am just not good enough or my work is nowhere near as amazing as other people. i love the goals you have set for yourself and how you are consciously fighting against those UNTRUE thoughts :) you rock! also is that image on this post for sale?? i love it. a lot.

CTC Designs said...

Glad to hear that you are feeling better and what fantastic goals you have set for yourself!

And again, another beautiful painting. I wish I had half of your talent. :)

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